Rituals

Before my parents divorced we used to spend a lot of time together as a family. Strange as it may seem, one of my favorite memories of my dad was watching him get dressed for work, and then watching him change clothes after he got back home. My dad was very meticulous in his appearance, taking great care in making sure his clothes were cleaned and pressed, shining his shoes and that his ties had no stains. Of course it was my mom who laundered and pressed his shirts, but it was under the instructions of my dad. Crisp seams, light starch, etc. One thing he always did while getting dressed was before putting on his socks he would wipe the bottom of his foot with his hand, then grab his shoe by the toe and tap the heel on the ground. Only after completing this ritual would he put his shoes on.

After years of watching him do this I asked him why. He said as a boy, during the hot months in San Antonio, he and my grandparents would sleep on the floor in the back of the house where there were lots of windows. His clean school clothes would be neatly folded nearby, along with his shoes, ready for him to get dressed before heading off to school. Apparently he had always been meticulous. One day while dressing for school he put his shoes on and laced them up. Immediately he felt a pain like a red hot nail had been driven into his foot. Before he could unlace his shoe and rip it off, he got hit two more times. When he took his shoe off a scorpion crawled out, which was quickly dispatched. He said he couldn’t wear a shoe for a week after that. From then on he wiped his feet to be sure nothing was on his foot, and tapped his shoes to be sure nothing was inside before putting them on. Now that my dad has passed I have adopted the foot wiping ritual each morning as I dress. I wipe my foot and tell my dad good morning. And every night since my mom passed, I go by our living room, which was her room while in hospice in our home, and tell her good night, just like I did when she was with us. These small rituals comfort me. They keep me connected to my parents, and whatever pleasant times we had as a family. If you follow this blog you know my parents had a tumultuous relationship for eighteen years before divorcing. Holding on to pleasant memories, however few, is important. Rituals do that for us. They remind us of the past, and at the same time help us focus in the moment. Even though my parents ultimately didn’t get along, they loved us, and these rituals help me focus on that love. I feel the same way about Mass, and my daily rosary. These are rituals that help me remember the sacrifice Jesus made for me, and how blessed I am as a result. My rosary is the foundation of my day. When said at the beginning of the day it anchors me and directs my attitude. When said at the end of the day, it puts events of the day in focus and helps me see God’s hand in my life. Leave a note describing some of the rituals that are meaningful to you.