The Power of The Father’s Words

Becoming a father was the greatest experience of my life. My wife and I tried for several years to have children, and when our first child was born we were elated. Our children brought such joy to our lives that we were forever transformed. Saturday Night Fever was replaced with family game night. Staying up all night no longer meant dancing and partying. It meant one of our beautiful children was sick and needed extra attention. However, no matter how much attention we give our children, it is nothing compared to the attention our children give us. Children are born with built in recorders. They watch every move their parents make. It is one of the most important ways a child learns. I was surprised to learn little girls paid so much attention to their fathers, and it was a lesson that almost proved deadly.

Lacy was daddy’s little girl. She loved to be where I was, doing what I was doing. One of my fondest memories is of three year old Lacy and I out in the garage. She was amusing herself with a few blocks of wood or whatever harmless items I let her find in the garage while I attempted to fix the lawnmower. As I stood over the mower fiddling with this and that, there occurred a slow but steady eclipse of our Lacy’s fuzzy little head between me and the mower. She could not resist watching what I was doing, and decided the best place from which to do this was from in front of my face. I stepped back and laughed, then explained that I couldn’t fix what I couldn’t see. She giggled and pretended to understand my logic. I told her where to stand so she could see and she was happy.

When she was nine I had to perform a repair on the roof. Of course there was no way Lacy was going to let me get on the roof alone. It was shortly after Christmas and as cold as it was, I soon noticed my little helper all bundled up in her new, blue winter coat. Since she was there I asked her to go back down and get the big, new flashlight mama had given me as a gift. When she returned I asked her to hand me this, hand me that, hold this and hold that, or to shine the light where I was working so I could better see what I was doing. During one particularly long lull in which she was not being utilized, she picked up my new flashlight and began examining it, turning it over in her tiny hands. I love my daughter, but her nickname “Death and Destruction” was honestly earned. She had a knack for inadvertently knocking things over. Sensing danger I reminded her to be careful with my precious new flashlight. Being the obedient child she immediately put the flashlight down. However, since we were on a pitched roof there was nothing to hold it and it began sliding rapidly toward the edge of the roof. Out of frustration I said, “That flashlight better not hit the ground.” That was all I said. Before I knew it Lacy dove head first down the roof, sliding toward the flashlight. My heart stopped. Whatever danger I saw befalling the flashlight was nothing compared to what I saw happening to my precious child. Before I could even think what to do she caught up with the flashlight, grabbed it, then managed to stop her slide just inches from the edge of the roof. I got to her as quickly as I could and helped her up. She looked at me and smiled, proud that she had done what daddy had asked. The shame I felt at that moment has not diminished in the ensuing years.

In one heart stopping moment I learned the words of a father are precious to a child. Our words can either build up or tear down our children. Our daughters learn about men from their fathers. They watch how daddy treats mommy. They listen when mommy and daddy talk, not just to the conversation in general, but to the words used and the tone with which they are spoken. They watch when mommy and daddy touch, be it holding hands, or dancing, or just rubbing each others feet. They notice the look in their daddy’s eyes when he looks at mama. They hear and see everything. Her daddy is a daughter’s first knight in shining armor. A father that abuses his daughters or their mother verbally, emotionally, or worse, not only damages a little girl, he damages the woman, wife, and mother she is to become. A daddy can show his little girl how to avoid the men who would only use her for her sexuality, or view her as an object. He can show her what it’s like to be a woman by demonstrating how a gentleman of integrity and self control conducts himself. Either way, he affects generations.

To me, my daughter risked her life for a flashlight. To her, she was only doing what daddy asked with no questions, no hesitation, and no fear. My children have taught me many things, but the biggest lesson is that the best daddies provide the best examples. Our words and actions are important. Our lives are a living testament to that which we hold dear. If we wish our children to submit to our authority, we must provide the example of submitting to the authority of our Father in heaven. As a father I struggle daily to obey my heavenly Father the way my daughter obeyed me. I am still learning to dive after his wishes and trust that what He asks of me is for my benefit, then look up at Him and smile knowing I accomplished His mission with no questions, no hesitation, and no fear.