Giving Back

In the day to day business of communication we use many expressions, or as they are properly called, idioms. At one time or other we’ve all swallowed a bitter pill, or have had to bite the bullet. When studying for a big exam we burned the midnight oil, then went out to cut a rug when we passed. Just whatever you do, don’t cut the cheese. One of my least favorite expressions is “to give back”. For years I’ve not liked this expression without really understanding why. All I knew was it irritated me. When people talk about giving back, their generosity is commendable, but deep down I always felt something was basically wrong. After years of wrestling with this dilemma, the answer revealed itself.

The concept of giving back stems from people, filled with gratitude, wanting to show appreciation with a gift. Sometimes this involves volunteering at a favorite charity, but most of the time it involves financial help. The thought being they have been so richly rewarded, they feel compelled to give a contribution as a way of giving thanks. On its face this is a noble deed, but after thinking about it I find the entire concept distasteful.

For years my wife pleaded with me to allow her to give money to the church. And for years I played the Grinch. The church didn’t need the few pennies we could afford to give. Besides, we had a family to raise, bills to pay, and I didn’t make that much money. After all, she did the bills and knew our financial situation better than I, and I thought it was horrible. Then, after a protracted job search, I got a great job with a huge raise. When I got home I blurted the good news to my wife, then added, “Now you can start giving money to the church.” Her response was, “I’ve been giving money to the church this whole time. Why do you think you got that job?” I stood there, stunned. In an instant she taught me what true faith was. She was giving the widow’s mite, from her want, and I was only willing to give what was left over.

This is the essence of giving back. To do so is to give from our surplus, but only after we’ve accumulated enough to continue to live as we please after “giving back”. Is that really what giving back is? Giving our left overs? My wife’s words reminded me that it is in humility that we should give, and that giving of our first fruits is placing our trust solely in God.

Since then my career has mirrored the economy, with some years better than others. There was one stretch in which I was out of work for fifteen months, but my wife continued to contribute to the church. As faith would have it, a better job came our way and we are, once again, rebuilding our finances. You can rest assured that when we reach our next financial milestone, we will give thanks to God, then go out and trip the light fantastic.