Show Them We Love Them

Recently I read an article that deeply disturbed me. It featured a picture of a very young woman, from the shoulders up, dressed only in strings of beads around her neck and sunglasses. Nothing else. She was surrounded by males, I hesitate to call them men, who were pulling at the beads to expose her breasts. This young woman was so small she barely came up to the shoulders of the males. The picture was obviously cropped to avoid showing anything private. The article described this picture, and others taken of the young woman, that had been posted on a social web site. She was obviously very young, so young that when the pictures came to the attention of local law enforcement they attempted to find her to determine if she was in trouble. Her picture went viral and when this happened whoever originally posted the pictures removed them from the social site. Somehow the young woman found out the police were looking for her and went to the police station. She told them she was not in danger and that her actions were consensual, and that she wasn’t aware the pictures had been taken. When they asked her age she said she was seventeen, and the males surrounding her were all college age spring breakers.

This disturbed me because of the situation in which she willingly placed herself, and because she is so young. I can’t help but wonder about her relationship with her father. Not knowing the situation it’s difficult to condemn, but still I wonder. Did her father hug her and tuck her into bed at night? Did he tell her he loves her? Did he model the type of behavior that tells a young girl she is special? If he did, then why does she look for approval from the males surrounding her in the picture? What type of relationship did those young males have with their father? Did their fathers teach them to respect women? Did they model the type of behavior that tells a young boy he, too, is special? Did they teach their sons of their responsibilities as young men? If they did, then why do their sons seek pleasure in such a base, dehumanizing manner?

I wonder what those young males would think if they saw pictures such as that of their sister posted on the internet. What would the young woman think if she saw similar pictures in which one of the males was her brother? The restoration of the family is the salvation of our society. As a society we have become desensitized to the stripping of our basic dignity. We view others as objects to be used to achieve our goals rather than as human beings, and the goals to which we aspire are becoming more base.

This is the real war on women. When men no longer demand behavior such as this from women, then women will no longer feel compelled to comply. I’m not naïve enough to think this type of behavior can be completely eradicated, but I pray that it is once again marginalized. By doing so, society will be better equipped to recognize the symptoms of abuse. The young woman’s actions may have been consensual, but to say abuse was not involved is equally naïve. There are many ways to abuse a person. In a perfect world the older males would have protected the young woman rather than exploiting her youth and poor decisions.

As men, husbands, and fathers, we have the power to restore families to their once respected place in society. We need to tuck our children into bed and tell them we love them. We must model the type of behavior that sets the standard against which our daughters will judge the men in their lives, and that our sons must strive to emulate. By becoming the men we were created to be, we can bring about the best possible world for our children. Are you with me?